Dawning of the Deed

Here’s a good question: “How old is sex?” You know, the old birds and the bees-type hooking up. Recently, some fossil finds have given us great clues as to the age of intercourse, the conception of copulation, the dawning of the dirty deed.

You might have trouble even imagining your parents or grandparents having sex, but intercourse is at least 375 million years old. That’s quite a tradition to carry on, and we should do it proudly.

See, before sex there was “spawning,” characterized by an utter lack of intimacy. This form of reproduction is still quite popular among fish. Basically, spawning when female fish lay eggs in the water, then the males deposit sperm into the water to fertilize them. The embryos that develop are on their own and out in the open, leaving them vulnerable to predators. The gradual introduction of intercourse allowed the fertilization of eggs to occur within the female body, removing risk to embryos associated with all of those nasty creatures found in pond water.

Conception within the body offers several biological perks, including a higher likelihood of successful fertilization due to the protective environment, which shields gametes from hazards and predators. Plus, this way of conceiving allows for more selective mating, as partners can be chosen based on desirable traits. Over millions of years, internal fertilization, or what we now know as intercourse,has evolved  to include complex mating behaviors and physiological adaptations. Although it may feel great to participate in sex, the real evolutionary advantage of it is the enhanced the survival rate of offspring, and the success of the species.

Until recently, it was believed that sharks (yes, sharks) were the first species to have sex and give birth to live offspring. Funny, it’s hard to imagine sharks as particularly romantic, but as they say, you can’t always judge critters by how big their teeth are. I just met a walrus with 2-foot tusks who is the nicest guy you ever met.

But now it appears that sharks are not the first fornicators. Not since the discovery of a small fish fossil found in a piece of limestone on a cattle ranch in Western Australia. About the size of a mackerel, this female fossil contained an embryo within it, along with a petrified umbilical cord. This is proof positive that internal fertilization occurred in a backboned animal before sharks, about 375 million years ago.

So, if you think the sexual revolution happened in the ’70s or is happening today, you’re wrong. The real revolution in sex occurred during the Devonian period, way before you were a twinkle in anyone’s eye.