Timing (And Position) Are Everything
Can you get a boy or a girl? (Courtesy: Shutterstock)
Missionary? Doggie? Cowgirl? Kneeling Lotus? Quarter moon? Full moon? No moon? Is there really a best lovemaking time or position for conceiving a girl or boy?
History of Designing Sex for a Boy or Girl
Methods for determining baby gender are ancient, even prehistoric, and range from astrological to dietary to positional. One of the earliest references to this concept is the Chinese Gender Chart (also known as the Chinese Gender Calendar or Chinese Birth Chart), said to have been discovered in a tomb near Beijing, where it resided for 700 years. It claims to predict the sex of the child based on the month of conception and the age of the mother. Read it yourself at the Institute of Science in Beijing.
Many believe that the myths surrounding sex position, timing, and baby gender resulted from the mad rush of lovemaking that took place when soldiers returned home at the end of the world wars. I’m sure the return of triumphant, testosterone-laden yet depraved men gave new meaning to the term “Honey, I’m home!” for many mid-century modern couples.
Lovemaking Myths
Here are the most common myths regarding sexual position and timing to help get that boy or girl. I constantly hear these from patients, as they give me those confirming gazes and nodding heads while saying:
- Eat meat and salty food to get a boy.
- Splurge on desserts to get a girl.
- Both partners eat lots of fish and vegetables for a girl.
- Make love standing or doggy style and during a quarter moon or at night for a son.
- Use the missionary or cowgirl position and during a full moon for a daughter.
- Have sex as close to ovulation as possible, for a boy, as boy sperm are less robust than girl sperm. (Do the opposite for a girl.) Welcome to the Shettles method.
- If the male partner climaxes first, then a boy will be conceived. The opposite is suggested for a girl.
What Determines Baby’s Sex?
Biological sex is determined at the point of fertilization. Approximately half of men’s sperm contain an X chromosome, and the other half contain a Y chromosome. When paired with the X chromosome of a women’s egg, this can result in an two combination: XX (a girl) or XY (a boy). Given that boys and girls are born in roughly equal numbers throughout the world, this suggests that a baby’s sex is really a biological flip of the coin.
With that in mind, the only couples who can truly choose the sex of their baby are those who use IVF to conceive. Although not all male fertility clinics offer it, expensive testing can confirm whether a sperm has an X or a Y chromosome. If this sperm is then used to fertilize an egg, the parents know in advance whether it will be a boy or a girl.
Lovemaking Truths
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but no matter what you have heard, there is no hard data supporting the idea of a “best” position or time for sex to conceive a boy or girl. In fact, the findings from a prospective study of couples starting to conceive, published in 1995 in the New England Journal of Medicine, showed no relationship between the timing of intercourse and baby gender. Ah, but they did not study lovemaking position, thus keeping that myth and folklore alive! Come to think of it, that would be an interesting study to do, and one that I imagine would have no trouble enrolling subjects…
